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For the Lexophiles



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roscobbc

Committee Member

Sat 01 Sep 18 09:55

For the Lexophiles


No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Iím reading a book about anti-gravity. I just canít put it down.

I didnít like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldnít control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.


--------------------
CCCUK Chairman
'68 coupe - 4 speed - 3.08 - 489 cu in - 570 bhp @ 5850 rpm - 606 ft/lbs torque (821 Newton Metres) @ 3850 rpm
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corvetteville

Club Member

Sat 01 Sep 18 10:11


Brilliant, made me laugh 😂

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roscobbc

Committee Member

Sat 01 Sep 18 10:53


I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPodís name to Titanic. Itís syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a day-care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end


--------------------
CCCUK Chairman
'68 coupe - 4 speed - 3.08 - 489 cu in - 570 bhp @ 5850 rpm - 606 ft/lbs torque (821 Newton Metres) @ 3850 rpm
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Daytona Vette

Club Member

Sat 01 Sep 18 12:22

Re: For the Lexophiles


Have you met the Dentist Phil Mcavity

Best time for an appointment with your Dentist is 2.30

The Jeweller's Shop Window was smashed and looted - the Police are looking into it.

There have been a few expensive dogs kidnapped recently for a ransom, the Police said they are following one or two leads.

Judges are rampant perverts they keep trying everyone.

Ghosts give me the willies

Did you hear about the Old Testament Prostitute who was arrested for trying to make a Prophet.

Have you noticed how Australians answer their own questions:

What is your favourite colour Blue?

What is the name of your Sheila?

Three dead bodies were found in the corn field, the police are looking for a cereal killer.

How far is it to the Museum at Bowling Green? about 25 miles from here, but in a Corvette you should do it in 20.


--------------------
Barry - Daytona Vette

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